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How to
Disagree Better
WHY WE SHOULD DISAGREE BETTER
FACT: Only 45% percent of West Chester teens believe that their parents/caregivers would think it was “VERY WRONG” if they picked a fight with someone. (Source: PA Youth Survey)
WHY WE CARE: Research from the University of Washington’s Communities That Care model shows that when kids feel they have direct or indirect permission to break small rules, they are more likely to break bigger ones, like using addictive substances. According to the National Institute of Health, harsh criticism of self or others negatively impacts youth development. (Source: National Institute of Health)
Top 5 Tips to Help Youth DISAGREE BETTER
TIP #3: Talk Fairly About Others. Whether we agree or not, using kind words teaches kidsoutward and inward compassion. In fact, parents/caregivers’ harsh judgement of otherstranslates into self-doubt in youth. “According to the social learning theory, parents’unkind attitudes towards themselves or others will gradually be acquired throughobservation and imitation by children...” (Source: National Institute of Health)
TIP #4: Be Inquistive.
Ask Questions. Use difference of opinion as opportunities to learn. Whenwe seek to learn, we teach young people to do the same.
TIP #5: Acknowledge Your Mistakes.
When you catch yourself speaking ill of someone in yourcircles, on the road or on the news, acknowledge it as a mistake. Then let your kids seeyou move past it. It helps them to recognize their actions, but not dwell on them.
TIP #1: Keep Values Clear and Consistent. Science shows that youth’s perception of parentalattitudes toward picking a fight (physically, verbally or online) impacts their likelihood ofengaging in high-risk behavior. Even the difference in a child’s perceptions of “wrong”versus “very wrong” makes a big difference. When our values are clear, there’s noconfusion and our kids outcomes are better. (Source: PA Youth Survey)
TIP #2: Stay Calm.
Disagreements or the perception that something is unfair often trigger anemotional response in our brains. This activates a stress response: adrenaline surges, theheart pumps faster, breathing quickens, and muscles tense. Once this reaction begins, it’slike a snowball rolling downhill—quickly growing larger and harder to control. Practicestaying calm and teach youth to do the same through breathing exercies, take a break, orimagine a peaceful place. (Source: Utah State University)
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